Every speech we write is completely unique and bespoke to you

I don't use templates, recycle jokes, or ever write the same speech twice. And my service is completely confidential so I never share your speech with anybody else. 

Because of that, the below excerpts aren’t taken from any speeches I've sold but instead are fictional examples, so you can get a feel for what kind of speech we can write for you.

Of course, every speech is different and I'll always make sure your speech is right for you before you pay me a penny.

Best Man Speech

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"Andrew is famous for never being where he’s meant to be.

He’s been that way ever since we were in school together. Or rather, ever since I was in school. Andrew only ever showed up at school when he could be bothered.

I’ve never known anyone better at throwing a sickie than Andrew. In one year alone he had everything from “Asthma” to “Zinc Deficiency”. And yet somehow he still managed to be at the pub every night. This was impressive enough as he was only 15 at the time. And it was even more impressive as he looked approximately the same he does now… 13.”

Father of the Bride Speech


“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Melvin and I’m the one who gave Julia away earlier. Those of you who do know me will know that giving her away wasn’t my choice. If I’d had my way I would never have given her away – I would have tried to fetch a good price instead.

Giving Juila away was my first job today, this is my second job, and my third job is to be the best dancer at the reception later. Julia was very insistent that I didn’t “have” to do the third job but I offered to do it anyway. That’s just the kind of person I am…”

Groom's wedding speech


I still have some friends in my life like my best man here, Darius. Darius has been around since I was a kid and unlike me, he hasn't aged at all  yet, physically or mentally. He's probably the person who most got me into trouble as a kid, and still gets me into trouble at least once a week.

Today he's my best man and he's not got me into trouble yet today, but it's only 3pm so it's early yet... give it time.

But for all that I am thankful for him always being there for me, for organising the stag do, and for betting me to put the word "poo-bum-face" into this speech. 

Thanks Darius.